I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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