oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
