I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
