PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
