Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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