Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Panties = found
Randomize
