Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
