I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
