well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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