my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
