elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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