Buhtt sex?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
