i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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