shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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