You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
