i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize