You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
