I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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