Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
