Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
