In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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