If i come over, it means nothing
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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