i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
