I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
