Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
