I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
