So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
