On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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