He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
