I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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