Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
