The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
