He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
be right there i have to get my cape
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
