Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
