so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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