He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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