hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
