hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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