Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
