I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
