Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
