Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
