So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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