Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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