You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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