she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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