my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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