no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
