yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
