Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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