shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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