If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
