eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
