i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
So gin and wine won't be happening again
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
