porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
