All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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