my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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