don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
