I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
