WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
