You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
