Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
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