Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
