We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
